it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
