The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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