exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
