What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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