No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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