Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
