not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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