Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
