All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
