So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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