and you said cock pushups were impossible
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
