I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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