I feel great
I just peed on a car
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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