Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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