We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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