I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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