You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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