I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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