the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
