New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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