Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
