Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
