so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
