I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize