What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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