I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
