he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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