Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
