I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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