I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
