sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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