I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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