The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize