i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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