Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
