goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize