i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
