it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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