Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
thus making me awesome and them whores
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
