He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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