bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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