Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize