I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
