you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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