She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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