i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
