some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
