I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
