everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
