SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
