ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
