somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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