was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I enjoy the company of your penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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