windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
