I want to stick my p in your. b.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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