hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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