Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
