Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
