STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
