I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
