My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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