So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
