you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
