Betty ford says i'm here all night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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