I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
