Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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